Beautiful Life!

     Aku sampai kat Gosford lebih kurang pukul 7 malam, dihantar senior Kak H and Kak Y. At first, I only wanted to go by train, rasa tak sedap plak nak menyusahkan sesiapa sebab semua org pun ada kelas. But since Kak H insisted (and I was so glad she did because jalan kat Gosford sikit punya curam, kurang sikit drpd 90 darjah jer) aku pun apa lagi….pucuk dicita, ulam mendatang. huhuhu. Thanks, Kak H and Kak Y, bohot shyukriya hai, gracias!

Accommodation

It’s not too bad, really. Bilik KMB lagi buruk. Bilik KMB lagi kecik. What I mean is, I have seen worse and the condition of the room before my eyes at that moment did not exactly send my head spinning in panic or anything like that. Even though the tv in the common room is rather, uh, antique but it’s really big and it’s working fine enough. There was also a piano at the corner of the room (not that I played).

Malam di Gosford

First night aku sampai tu, aku malas nak mandi. My reason being: I was not sweating at all (even though if I were in NC I would have taken my shower anyway).

I thought I wanted to get a good night sleep. An early sleep. I thought I could do so easily enough since I was so damn tired after I had finished unpacking all my stuff.

I placed my head on the pillow at 9.30. I turned to my right side and closed my eyes. Tapi macam ada yang tak kena. Oh yes…tak der bantal peluk.  My arms feel empty. Kosong. Tak tahu nak letak my arms kat mana. At last, I placed both my hands under my chin…and after awhile I realized why I did that.

It was cold. I was shivering. (I have always been blessed with moderately high metabolism, when others were cold I did not even wear a sweater. Kalau aku salam tangan cikgu jer, cikgu ingat aku demam because my hands are always warm. Memanglah aku mamalia sejati yg berdarah panas sentiasa.)

Hmmph! The blanket provided was just like a piece of thin cloth. Setakat nak cover body jer…bukan untuk tahan sejuk. I felt so exposed and unprotected since I was so used to having a heavy quilt.

Trying to keep my hands warm, aku letak tangan kat perut…and then under my arm…but the cold persisted! Tension!

Pukul 10, aku bangun pakai sweater, and tried to sleep.

Pukul 10.30 aku bangun pakai seluar lagi selapis.

Pukul 11.00 aku bangun pakai stokin.

Kalau aku bawa glove mesti aku dah pakai sekali. Hidung dah berair and tersumbat, made it even harder for me to sleep.

Berkali2 aku terjaga. Pukul 2 aku terjaga lagi. It was one hell of a bad night. I was alone on the top floor (none of the medical students have arrived yet) so terjaga pukul 2 pagi was really a creepy thing. Outside the rain was pouring heavily, pounding against my window, making every sounds imaginable. Tinggal nak tunggu serigala menyalak jer, and then the whole horror movie setting would be complete. Trying to curb my rising anxiety, aku pun baca doa tidur sekali lagi…for reinforcement, if you know what I mean.

I was glad when the morning came.

First morning in Gosford

Solat. Mandi. Breakfast (hanya coffee and biskut kering. memang kurus arr aku cam ni) I made a list of all things that I wanted to buy  (Blanket! Bantal peluk! Glove!Food!) Armed with a map, umbrella and my purse I set off to Woolsworth….

Only to find out that it was Anzac Day! Semua kedai tutup! (Dah, apa aku nak makan ni!) In acute frustration, aku pun ikut sekali perarakan Anzac day tu…I attended the memorial service amidst all the patriotic Australians. I ignored the curious looks of the Gosford people. I just could not endure going back to my room so early in the day, empty handed.

Bila aku balik drpd perarakan tu, my jeans were covered with mud and I was wet all over from the heavy rain. Penat! Aku singgah Newsagency, beli suratkhabar and cari cafe hospital. So, malam tu aku dinner bun and hot chocolate.

And I endured another cold, rainy night with only a thin piece of cloth for a blanket.

If I have not been clear thus far, let me say this in a plain monosyllabe words. I WAS MISERABLE!!

Checking out my GP Placement at Killarney Vale, Wyong Rd

I was relieved when the second morning came. The night was a torture! Berkali2 aku terjaga kesejukan.

I had decided to check out my GP placement…aku nak tahu kat mana lah GP aku ni so that I would know how to get there next Monday. Kalau nak get lost hari ni pun, no worries, as long as aku tak lost on Monday and arrive late plak.

Nak dipendekkan cerita, aku silap naik bas! Haih….how hopeless can I get, hmmm? Maybe my face was so pathetic, konduktor bas tu pun tolong aku work out the bus schedule. Dier siap cakap bas number berapa, and tunggu kat mana. Dier pesan lagi, kalau nak balik drpd Wyong Road nanti, tunggu kat bas stop at this particular side of the road.

And the wonderful news is, aku tak payah tukar bas pun nak ke sana. It would be a straight journey in one bus! Bus number 22! Huaaa….lega nya aku!!

Sementara nak tunggu bas untuk balik semula ke Gosford, aku pergi shopping makanan kt BI-Lo. Lapar tu tak payah cerita…sebab aku tak breakfast pun lagi! Balik jer bilik, aku buat binge eating. 3 keping tuna sandwich, berkeping2 rice crackers, secawan kopi.

Lepas dah sendawa sambil mendengar lagu kt laptop…baru aku rasa mcm…Hah, lega!! I felt a semblance of normalcy. Rasa mcm aku kt bilik di Newcastle.

Maybe smalam aku miserable sebab aku lapar kot. After I have eaten I felt a lot better.

Tak der beza sgt pun Gosford and NC. Cuma kat sini aku malas nak buka tudung. Duduk dlm bilik pun aku pakai tudung, dah habis solat Isyak baru aku buka. Malas nak buka/pakai tudung setiap kali nak ke toilet or nak pergi kitchen. After solat Isyak, aku dah tak kuar bilik.

And that night, I was so excited to get to sleep and try on my new wool blanket. It was still cold. But it was not too bad.

The reason I am able to update this blog is because I am currently back in NC. And tomorrow I will go back to Gosford. Saja balik nak amik barang; extra blanket, hanger, glove, hair dryer.

Rindu betul aku kt bilik di NC…so warm, so nice, so big, so very convenient. Rasa bebas, tak payah pakai sweater all the time. Tu pasal caner murah pun rumah kt luar, aku sedar kenapa aku berat hati nak keluar drpd on-campus. Rumah kt luar sejuk (esp kalau kayu)…memang boleh pasang heater, tapi siap lah bayar bil elektrik, and kalau hujan, tak der dryer untuk dry baju. Lepas tu, mesti ada tak senang hati dgn housemate yg tak buat giliran mengemas (basuh bilik air, cuci dapur, cuci stove, vacum). Lepas tu memendam rasa and muak dengan org yg tak reti nak kemas!

Aku tak kata aku ni suka mengemas! Tak der lah nak cakap aku ni rajin sgt! Tapi sebab aku tak suka mengemas lah aku tak buat semak! Nak buat semak tak kisah! (kalau nak semak bilik sendiri, lagi aku tak kisah) Tapi kemas lah balik!

Kat on-campus ada cleaner. Ko tak payah nak risau siapa nak kemas bilik air, siapa nak vacum carpet. Ko jaga jer bilik sendiri. So walaupun mahal (ala, mahal 20 dollar jer)…I pay for the quality. I pay for the cleaner, for the warmth, for the convenience of having a washing machine together with a dryer so that when winter comes, I don’t need to worry camna baju aku nak kering!

I guess, I pay extra for the luxury of not having to worry about minor things like that. Sebab byk lagi benda yg aku kena risau!

Some say when u live outside, ur more independent. Brother Danu pernah ckp kt aku, “You will feel like adult with responsibilities.”

Hmmph..I told him, “I will delay taking responsibilities as long as I can.” Bukannya aku tak nak grow up and take responsibilities. Kalau mmg tu tanggungjawab, mmg kena buatlah. Tapi kenapa nak tercari2 tanggungjawab tu. Tanggungjawab yg ada pun belum tentu dah buat dengan perfect. With all due respect, I dun see how living outside menyebabkan org lebih bertanggungjawab. Semata2 sebab ko kena basuh toilet sendiri? Or sebab ko kena kemas dapur sendiri? I have tried living outside time IMS…and the messy people in the house drove me loco! Ada org tak reti nak buang sampah (tong sampah dah penuh pun, dia sumbat juga sampai melimpah, tapi tak der hati nak angkut sampah buang kt luar), ada org tak reti nak lap bila makanan dier tumpah. Ader kuli pulak nak jaga kemas! Bagi aku, duduk luar mmg memendam rasa…sometimes I wish I was more like who I was 5 years ago. Tak puas hati, terus melenting. Tapi sebab dah besar ni, aku dah malas nak marah2. Tapi kalau tak marah, kena bertahan.

Aku plak mmg tak tahan lama! Nanti buat bergaduh jer! So, I decided staying on-campus is the best option for me. Putting up with messy ppl…is a NO  NO!!

Huhuhu. Apsal tiba2 ckp pasal messy ppl ni? I guess, because I was thinking too much about how convenient my room in NC is. And bila aku compare ngan bilik kt Gosford…jauh panggang dari api. And compare dgn umah kt luar…hmmm, aku lagi rela duk Gosford. Aku sanggup being alone. Tapi aku takkan sanggup kemas other people’s mess.

Tapi aku teringat satu hadis ni. I can’t recall the exact words but it goes something like this. “Lagi baik kita bergaul dengan org ramai and bersabar dgn kerenah diorang, drpd duduk sorang2.”

And in a way it’s true. Sebab rahmat datang dalam jemaah. Tapi aku ambil pendekatan; the lesser of two evils. Aku tak nak bertengkar dlm perkara remeh (in a way tak lah remeh…bersih pun separuh drpd iman kan), tapi aku tahu aku takkan bertahan lama dgn org yg mcm ni…so lebih baik aku duduk alone. Lagi pun I still got Suhaila in the house..tak der lah aku alone pun. And I try to still contact and keep in touch with other malaysians yg duk luar…so it was not too bad. And aku kenal ramai students from other culture; my housemates other than Suhaila are all foreigners. Bak kat Suhaila, tanggungjawab kita lagi besar. Nak kena explain, kenapa kami tak boleh join diorang pergi party. Nak kena explain kenapa kami tak boleh bagi dier pinjam periuk kami bila diorang nak masak pork. Nak kena explain kenapa bila diorang bawa balik kawan lelaki, kitorang kena pakai tudung bila nak masak kat dapur. Kalau ada news pasal terrorist kt tv, nak kena explain lagi. Nak kena maintain good ethical manners in the house because we represent the Muslims. And aku dgn Suhaila siap bagi hint lagi pasal alcohol…”Binge drinking is actually a form of drug abuse. You are abusing alcohol.” Kitorang mcm kakak in the house, pesan kat diorang setiap kali Friday night…do not exceed ur standard drinks. Tu pun tanggungjawab gak! Semua org ada tanggungjawab masing2.

Entahlah, maybe bila aku rasa aku dah betul2 sabar tahap dewa tu…aku duk luar. For now, I love my NC room! MMuaaahhss! So comfy!

Filed under: The life of med student and