Beautiful Life!

My friend used to say something along this line, “Pekerjaan sebagai guru ni sangat mulia. So, cikgu tu kena behave dengan mulia juga, befitting the profession.”

I could not agree more to her sentiment. Aku pun rasa benda yang sama: kalau seseorang tu dinamakan ‘guru’, dia mesti ada attitude yang, at least, above average.

I could not remember who said this, tapi mcm ni lah lebih kurang ayatnya: “In order to judge someone’s integrity, look at how he treats his inferiors and those who depend on him.”

As a teacher, the person would have held a position of power over her/his students. So, guru tu ada ‘authority’ over the students, and has the potential to abuse her/his authority. Jadi, nak tengok samada guru ni seorang yang baik or not, tengok macam mana dia handle dia punya authority. Macam mana dia treat students. The fact is, regardles of how he treats the students, baik or buruk, the students would not be able to benefit him in any way. So knowing that, yet still able to maintain good manners towards the students, would speak volume of his good character.

Cam tu juga nak judge a man. Nak tengok lelaki ni baik ke tak, tengok mcm mana dia treat his wife and children. Sebab lelaki tu memang ada authority over his family. If he treats them like garbage, he is a bad person.

Simple kan? Nak tengok org tu baik ke tak, tengok macam mana dia treat orang yang takkan bagi apa2 benefit terhadap diri dia.

Respect

“Kita kena hormat cikgu.”

I agree with that sentiment completely. But I just think that the sentence is too simplistic.

Aku cuma hormat cikgu yang tahu hormat anak murid. 

Kenapa pula cikgu nak kena hormat anak murid? Well, the fact is, whatever authoritorial position we have, there are some things you just don’t do to human beings. Even kalau orang tu adalah seorang hamba sekali pun, kita still kena respect the fact that ‘hamba’ tu still human. I guess, what I mean is, teacher or not, king or not, surgeon or not, respectlah  ‘maruah’ orang. Jaga air muka orang.

That to me, is basic human expectation. Anyone yang abuse my sense of self-respect, aku akan marah and I don’t give a damn who he is.

My regrets

I have done things I regret. I used to get angry over simple things and my only excuse was I was young and immature. The death of my friend a few years ago taught me that life is too short to get angry or to care too much over simple matters and skirmishes. When you are about to face death, you would marvel at how little these things matter. Suddenly, things that used to excite you would cease to be important. 

Aku sendiri pernah tak respect ‘maruah’ orang. Aku ingat lagi classmate aku kat KMB. How I was scolding him in front of the class. Kalau aku boleh cari dia balik kat friendster or something, I would have said sorry. Time tu, aku rasa justified apa yang aku buat. I thought he deserved it. Looking back, aku rasa mcm mana dia deserve it pun, aku tak patut buat mcm tu. And frankly speaking, aku rasa kita tak patut ada culture ala-ala roll-call and meluahkan rasa secara public like that. Kononnya, nak buat session meluahkan rasa tak puas hati secara terbuka gitu. Orang yang kena tu would feel like shit.

But anyway, that was in the past. I learned from mistakes.

Teacher and Respect

When I was in MRSM Langkawi, aku ada seorang ustaz yang sangat baik. Dah arwah pun due to a very sudden accident.

And he also happened to be a warden. Still young, sangat handsome. Muka ala2  A.J  kumpulan Backstreet Boys tu.

Biasalah warden…garang tu tak payah ceritalah. Tapi dia sangat professional. Kalau warden perempuan, benda dalam asrama pun boleh bawa sampai ke kelas. Tak pasal2 boys pun tahu isu2 kat asrama perempuan sebab warden tu duk menceceh kat kelas. Malu lah budak tu.

Tapi ustaz ni lain.

Nak dipendekkan cerita, aku dengan room-mates ponteng solat subuh jemaah kat surau. At that time I felt like, what’s the big deal? Bukannya kitorang tak solat…cuma tak berjemaah jer. So, nama kitorang ni masuk list LDP. Pagi tu, kena panggil dengan ustaz lepas perhimpuan pagi. Kena rotan kat tangan dengan batang paip. Not a public caning or anything like that, just kena berhimpun at one private place.

Aku malu jugalah dengan ustaz tu sebab he also happened to be my Islamic Studies teacher. Malulah aku dalam kelas. Sebelum tu dia berleter2 lah juga kat kitorang. So, aku rasa bengang because I felt that he might think aku ni jahat sgt lah kan.

And right after perhimpunan pagi would be his class. Aku horrified sgt. And it so happened yang hari ni dia nak buat hafazan; surah Lukman dengan surah An-Nur. Aku ingat lagi ayat2 yang dia suruh hafal tu.

So, I was determined nak jadi the first person yang pergi hafal kat dia. I wanted to show it to him: maybe aku tak pergi solat berjemaah, tapi aku dah hafal tau semua ayat2 hafazan. I am not that bad, okay?

When he entered the class, I braced myself for the embarrassment. Aku ingat dia akan bring up pasal aku dalam kelas. Aku dah prepare nak rasa malu.

But no. He never said a word about my not going to surau. He was all smiles and he announced “siapa nak buat hafazan.” Aku pun bangun dengan confidentnya. Dia senyum2 and suruh aku start. Dia tak pernah senyum perli ke, or cakap2 benda yang sakitkan hati aku. He was so nice. And also professional. Benda asrama, dia tak bawa masuk dlm kelas.

Yang paling malu tu…tengah duk recite surah Lukman, tiba2 aku terlupa ayat seterusnya. Wakakaka. Tu lah dier, nak show off sgt. Ustaz tu tolong2 lah juga aku nak menghabiskan hafazan tu. Tapi aku arr malu…jadi org first gi hafal, budget hebat jer! Sekali merangkak2 nak habiskan.

Bagi aku, itu contoh cikgu yang baik. Cikgu yang kalau dia marah, purely for the student’s own good. He would not inflict unnecessary mortification or embarrassment. Aku rasa, dia cikgu yang respect maruah anak murid and pandai jaga air muka anak murid. And for that, I respect him so much.

Thalamic learning

My dad thinks that you will learn best under pressure. And in my case, it’s true sebab aku ni memang pemalas. Kalau tak kena jerkah, tak study punya!

And my dad is right, actually. It is called ‘thalamic learning’. Basically, you will learn better when your emotion (your thalamus in the brain) is engaged in the learning process. So, the emotion involved here is ‘fear’. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of being laughed at, fear of being thought stupid and not up to standard.

Tapi aku rasa, any other emotion would do as well. Yes, thalamic learning is effective, but why fear? Kenapa tak nak invoke any other emotions like happiness? Or inspired? Or admiration? Kalau aku admire the teacher, and inspired by the teacher, I think I would learn just as well as I would in comparison to fear.

Kenapa kena jadi sarcastic? Kenapa kena jadi cynical?Why treat students with disrespect?

I could never respect that kind of teacher. Kalau aku kena marah especially if it is due to petty matters, aku memang akan naik suara balik. It was instinctive, almost a reflex; I would protect my self-respect. Tu pasal I cannot control my anger towards the surgeon. I think, it was unnecessary for him to mock me, so I snapped at him.

He abused my self-respect, so I retaliated. It was as simple as that.

When I talked to my mom over the phone, it was with a sense of despair that she said, “iys, nanti dia duk aim angah baru tahu! Sabar lah sikit! Tok sah duk lawan. Duk negara orang memang mcm tu. Kalau balik malaysia, houseman kat sini kena lagi teruk. Kalau angah duk melawan mcm tu, habislah kena aim dengan doktor.”

“So, sampai bila angah nak sabar? Kat negara orang kena sabar. Tapi mak cakap, balik malaysia nanti angah kena sabar lagi dengan perangai specialist kat malaysia. Bagi angah, if we can find a much better way of saying something, why not use it? Kenapa nak sarcastic pula? Kalau angah salah, angah terima. I just object to the way it was said to me. Cara dia tu yang angah tak suka.”

And yes, it was not what he said that had upset me. It was the way he said it. Byk kali jer aku tersilap bagi jawapan, tapi aku tak snap kat semua doktor, kan?

Tribute to teachers

Here, kat Gosford, aku dah jumpa byk doctors yang baik2. And it’s time to give my tribute to them:

1) Martin Veysey

-Okay, dia memang sarcastic. Tapi at least, dier passed them off as jokes. Contohnya, in the case of Afiza’s scale. huhuhu. Dan dia tak naikkan suara kat orang. Besides Balqis cakap, aku yang bersikap bias. So fine, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

-He is not bad actually. Today, last session with him, dia baik pula dengan aku. He said I described the X-ray well. He said that I have passed through everything. No more his cynical smiles. So, aku rasa hari ni, dier baik la plak. And one time, dier ada puji aku punya respiratory examination. Terus aku rasa dia baik. Huhuhu.

2)Amanda Dawson

-Memang super baik. I gave her five stars. Selalu membantu, tak pernah marah, tak pernah malukan student. To me, she is a great teacher. Period.

3) Mark Dean

-He is truly inspirational. Dialah yang paling pandai mengajar. He is so enthusiatic, you could see it by seeing the way he talks, the way he explains stuff. You can feel that he is really sincere in wanting you to understand what he is saying.

-He is not sarcastic. Dier lah contoh doktor yang inspiring. Dialah thalamic learning yang aku nak. And bukan aku saja yang rasa macam ni, semua students  cakap dia memang pandai mengajar. This shows that learning by fear and intimidation is no more advantageous than learning by any other emotions. In fact, it would be counter-productive in some students.

Conclusion:

Teaching is a noble, respected profession. And therefore teachers who represent that profession must have noble characteristics as well.

One day, kalau ada rezeki, I would love to teach. And I hope I would remember never to abuse my authority just becasue I could. I hope to be a great teacher, and  an inspirational one.

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